A promise to death

Currently I could jump off of a cliff and I wouldn't even care.
I would be happy for this freaking shit show to finally be over.

The only thing that keeps me from doing it, you're asking?
I'm afraid of surviving.
I don't wanna be the one that "survived jumping off a bridge".
I don't want anybody to talk with me about these feelings and why I did it.
Why I'd even chose to end my life.
I just want this, all of this to stop.

the only thing that hold me back is the fact that surviving would be worse than dying.
So if I ever find a bridge or a cliff high enough for me to be sure to be dead
this might as well be my promise to fucking take the leap.

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